Leaving the Kitchen

To save money on gas, I’ve started riding the bus to work. Because it takes twice as long to get to and from work, now, my wife and kids have started to take over cooking supper.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I know, I know. In almost every other Mormon household it’s expected that the ladies do the cookin’ while the men-folk work in the fields. That stereotype is a bunch of crock, by the way, historically as well as modernly, but we’ll go into that later. Maybe.

The point is they’re not used to it. From the day my wife and I got married I’ve done the bulk of the cooking and grocery shopping. She hates cooking and is frankly better at fixing most broken stuff around the house than I am, and it’s worked out pretty well for us so far.

Now I’m worried. Remember, my wife hates cooking. My kids know a little about it. My 11 year old has taken to it pretty well, but her repertoire is limited. When people don’t like to cook, they tend to rely on premade stuff. More expensive. Less tasty.

So far, it’s been okay. The only thing I’ve had to do is ask for more vegetables. “Yes, dear, I enjoyed the things you called “chicken enchiladas,” but it would have been nice to have something green to go with it.” My wife caved into my wishes by steaming some broccoli the next evening. I only hope that they will continue this trend of making things better and better as time goes on.

My other concern is grocery shopping. Out of necessity, I’ve gotten pretty adept at finding ways to lower our food budget. Some things are still worth paying more for, but other items are not. I’ve been teaching my daughters how to calculate a deal. They know how to compare cost per ounce, not just what seems to be the cost based on the sticker. “On Sale” doesn’t always mean a better deal. In fact, my local grocery store is notorious for putting things “on sale” for the regular price, right before they raise it. Because my daughters know how to check this, I’m not too worried about them. The trouble is that my wife is going to be doing most of the shopping. She hates grocery shopping as much as she hates cooking, maybe more. Consequently, she’ll go for convenience and expediency as much as checking the value and price. Case in point, the last time we went shopping she stocked the cart high and paid out about half again as much as I would have. I’m not saying we couldn’t use the things she bought. She just makes me nervous.

The real reason for all this concern is that, whether I like to admit it or not, I’m a control freak when it comes to the kitchen and pantry. At least I have been. The kitchen has been my domain for so many years; it’s hard to give up its daily control. Letting things go is good, though. Or so they tell me. It’s not like I won’t still be cooking on the weekends. I just have to get used to the idea that my kitchen is being occupied by a well meaning alien invasion force.

Broccoli and Garlic Alfredo

Alfredo sauce is a rich, delicious, creamy classic for pasta. Sometimes it can get boring, though. It can be a bit much as a main course, too. Some people will kick it up by adding a cooked chicken breast. Not a bad choice, but white on white seems a bit much for me, most days. What about adding a bit of green and use up some leftover broccoli, instead? Some garlic would be nice, too. Traditional Alfredo sauce doesn't have any.

Equipment needed
rasp grater
measuring cups and spoons
Dutch oven or large pot
large nonstick skillet
colander
whisk

Ingredients
1 small head of broccoli
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
2 cups heavy cream
1 pound spaghetti or other pasta
2 tablespoons butter
pinch of nutmeg
salt and ground black pepper, as needed
chopped fresh parsley (optional)

Directions
Remove the florets from the broccoli, cutting any large ones in half. Remove the tough outer layer from the stem. Cut the peeled stem into 1-inch pieces.

Bring 4 quarts of water to boil in a large pot or Dutch oven.

In the meantime, heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat until shimmering. Add the broccoli and saute until tender, about 5 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about  30 seconds. Add the cream to the skillet and reduce the heat to a simmer. Cook until thickened, about 8 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cover and keep warm.

When the water comes to a boil, add 1 tablespoon of salt and the pasta. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the past is tender but still a little firm, about 10 minutes. Reserve 1/2 cup of the pasta water, then drain the pasta and return it to the pot.

Working quickly, whisk the butter, nutmeg, and Parmesan cheese into the cream mixture. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Add the sauce to the pasta and toss to coat. If the sauce is too thick, add some of the reserved pasta water, just a little at a time, to loosen. Garnish with additional Parmesan cheese, ground black pepper, or chopped parsley, if desired

Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Making a Pinky Pie

Making food should be fun. Sometimes it’s not much fun, I’ll admit. Creating food that is fun to see, and eat, can be rewarding, though, even if making it presents a few problems.

One of our family’s traditions is that I make my kids a special birthday cake, decorated according to their interests and personality. For better or worse, my 20 year old son is a Brony. For those who don’t know, a Brony is an adult fan of the My Little Pony show. Yes, Virginia, my son watches a show  designed for little girls. He’s not alone. There are plenty of adults from all walks of life that love that show. With that in mind, I had to figure out how to make the Boy a My Little Pony themed birthday cake.

The Boy is not a huge cake fan. Neither is his younger sister. His favorite My Little Pony character is named Pinky Pie. In a state of punnific inspiration, I threw out the cake idea and make him a birthday pie, instead.

I didn’t have a lot of time with this one so, I did the only thing a sensible person would do. I turned to the baking shelves in the grocery store and bought a cheese cake mix, adding a bit of red food coloring to make it pink.

Next came the pattern. I’d found a Pinky Pie t-shirt for sale on the web, and downloaded a picture of it, copying the stylized portrait of that particular little pony onto a sheet of paper to make a pattern for the top of the cake.

Fortune smiled on me in the form of left-over fondant in the freezer. I mixed more red food coloring with some of it to fashion the mane, and left the rest white for the eyes. For the iris, I mixed up some blue food coloring with granulated sugar and sprinkled it on top. The rest was a combination of red and black decorating gel.

A word of warning about decorating gel. Don’t apply it until just before serving. It will separate and seep a colored sugar-water over the rest of your project if you let it sit very long. Blech.

I’m not going to kid you. It was fun, but it was a pain. I had trouble with the pattern. It stuck to the top of the cheesecake when I was trying to transfer the outline. The fondant kept getting way to warm to handle way too quickly and didn’t want to behave, especially for the mane. The blue sugar didn’t want to lay down where I wanted it to. (In retrospect, I should have made the irises from blue fondant). I had to make it a day prior to my son coming for a visit, due to scheduling problems, and so I was mopping up red and black seepage from the gel before showing it to him. ARRRRGGGG!

The work was worth it, though, at least in retrospect. It really was fun to present, and eat. My wife and daughters were impressed. My son was ecstatic. How could he not be? I’d make him a Pinky Pie for his birthday.