Monday, February 4, 2008

Valentine's Day with the Mormons

With Valentine's Day on the way, a foodie's heart is turned to amoré, or at least to romantic food. It seems like there are two major foods associated with Valentine's Day: wine, and chocolate. Being a Mormon foodie, the wine's out of the question for me. Chocolate, however ... yum.

Don't kid yourself thinking Mormon's don't think about such things. Even the most straight-laced Utah Mormon still thinks about romance. Or at least sex. Sex is okay for Mormons; it's just a matter of timing. You've got to keep it within the marital bounds. No premarital, no extramarital, just postmarital. As long as if by postmarital you mean doing it with you current spouse. If you mean “after the divorce,” well, that's still not cool.

In other words, even Mormons think sex is okay as long as you're married to your partner.

I'll admit it. Romance and sex are two different things. It's just that most guys rather enjoy the idea of the one following shortly after the other. Even if it doesn't, or can't (the whole marriage thing, again), romance can be fun all by itself.

Food can help with the romance, too. I used food to get dates and get married. I've been married for 17 years, now, so I know what I'm talking about.

Okay, guys. Huddle in close. We can all blame Hallmark Cards for Valentine's Day. However, trying to get out of doing something romantic for your sweetheart, by explaining how Valentine's Day is an attempt at corporate brainwashing in order to sell more cards, is rather like trying to walk on water. Jesus Christ might be able to do it but, he's the Son of God. Chances you and I are going to drown.

All is not lost, though. Nothing says “I love you” like expensive jewelry.

Barring that, you could try to cook her a great meal.

The following menu plan is very simple, guys. It's going to be hard for even you to screw up. There aren't a lot of courses, and so it won't fill you up so you can't enjoy other things later. (Hey. I'm talking about a movie, or something. What were you thinking?)

This is the same basic plan that I used when I was courting my wife. Don't knock it. guys. It worked for me.

Valentine's Dinner Menu

Start by serving apple cranberry spritzers along side a green salad tossed with a classic balsamic vinegarette dressing.

Next, serve spaghetti with home made marina sauce (that's a basic tomato based sauce, in case you didn't know) and some french bread.

Some sliced apples and cheese are a traditional Italian meal closer. If you're looking for something really decadent for dessert, though, try Chocolate Pots de crème, topped with whipped cream and sliced strawberries.

I'm not going to bother to teach you to make your own French bread this time around. I've got a couple of great recipes but, we want to make this romantic affair as simple as possible for you guys. Just go to a decent bakery and buy some.

For the rest, stay tuned.

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